J
joelja
UPDATE EMAIL ADDRESS
We've had several questions here recently about the order tracking 800#. To help all these new people out, I decided to record my last phone call to the 800# and transcribe it for their education on how to properly use this wonderful facility.
So, here goes:
COMPUTER(simulated female voice): Welcome to the Ford Vehicle Order Processing Center. To proceed please press "1".
ME: Dutifully presses "1"
COMPUTER: If you are checking on a Ford vehicle, please say "FORD". If you are checking on a Lincoln-Mercury vehicle, please say Lincoln-Mercury.
ME: DeSoto. Oh, just kidding ..."FORD"
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. I did not understand.
If you are checking on a Ford vehicle, please say "FORD". If you are checking on a Lincoln-Mercury vehicle, please say Lincoln-Mercury.
ME: "FORD"
COMPUTER: Please say your dealer code.
ME: 13323
COMPUTER: I understood that you are checking on a FORD and that your dealer code is 13323.
Is this correct? Please say yes or no.
ME: Yes
COMPUTER: To check the status of a vehicle using a vechicle identification number, please say "VIN". To check the status of a vehicle using an order number , please say order number.
ME: "Order number"
COMPUTER: Please say the model year of the vehicle.
ME: "2002"
COMPUTER: Please say the body style of the vehicle , digit by digit.
ME: "P-6-0"
COMPUTER: Please say the order number of the vehicle digit by digit.
ME: "014"
COMPUTER: I understood that the vehicle is a "2002". That the body style is a "T-6-0" and that the order number is "014"
Is this correct. Please say YES or NO.
ME: "NO"
COMPUTER: Is the model year "2002"?
ME: "YES"
COMPUTER: Is the body style "T-6-0"?
ME: "NO"
COMPUTER: Please say the body style digit by digit.
ME: "PEEEEEEE-6-0"
COMPUTER: I understood that the body style is "D-6-0". Is this correct ? Please say yes or no.
ME: "NO. DAMMIT"
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. I did not understand. Please say the body style digit by digit.
ME: "PEEEEEEEEEEE-6-0". You dumb bi---"
COMPUTER: I"m sorry. I did not understand.
And I am not a tomb ditch. Would you like to speak to an order processing analyst. Please say yes or no.
ME: Analyze this, you undersexed, under megahertzed, low-life geek.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. No information found for body style "G-6-0". And you will see your long-awaited TBird when Hell freezes over. But, in the meantime, would you like to speak with an order processing analyst?
ME: (Distant sound of one gunshot. Phone goes dead.)
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blue/blue/full blue/premium on order: VIN #16050
So, here goes:
COMPUTER(simulated female voice): Welcome to the Ford Vehicle Order Processing Center. To proceed please press "1".
ME: Dutifully presses "1"
COMPUTER: If you are checking on a Ford vehicle, please say "FORD". If you are checking on a Lincoln-Mercury vehicle, please say Lincoln-Mercury.
ME: DeSoto. Oh, just kidding ..."FORD"
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. I did not understand.
If you are checking on a Ford vehicle, please say "FORD". If you are checking on a Lincoln-Mercury vehicle, please say Lincoln-Mercury.
ME: "FORD"
COMPUTER: Please say your dealer code.
ME: 13323
COMPUTER: I understood that you are checking on a FORD and that your dealer code is 13323.
Is this correct? Please say yes or no.
ME: Yes
COMPUTER: To check the status of a vehicle using a vechicle identification number, please say "VIN". To check the status of a vehicle using an order number , please say order number.
ME: "Order number"
COMPUTER: Please say the model year of the vehicle.
ME: "2002"
COMPUTER: Please say the body style of the vehicle , digit by digit.
ME: "P-6-0"
COMPUTER: Please say the order number of the vehicle digit by digit.
ME: "014"
COMPUTER: I understood that the vehicle is a "2002". That the body style is a "T-6-0" and that the order number is "014"
Is this correct. Please say YES or NO.
ME: "NO"
COMPUTER: Is the model year "2002"?
ME: "YES"
COMPUTER: Is the body style "T-6-0"?
ME: "NO"
COMPUTER: Please say the body style digit by digit.
ME: "PEEEEEEE-6-0"
COMPUTER: I understood that the body style is "D-6-0". Is this correct ? Please say yes or no.
ME: "NO. DAMMIT"
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. I did not understand. Please say the body style digit by digit.
ME: "PEEEEEEEEEEE-6-0". You dumb bi---"
COMPUTER: I"m sorry. I did not understand.
And I am not a tomb ditch. Would you like to speak to an order processing analyst. Please say yes or no.
ME: Analyze this, you undersexed, under megahertzed, low-life geek.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. No information found for body style "G-6-0". And you will see your long-awaited TBird when Hell freezes over. But, in the meantime, would you like to speak with an order processing analyst?
ME: (Distant sound of one gunshot. Phone goes dead.)
------------------
blue/blue/full blue/premium on order: VIN #16050
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