CAN YOU SAY "P" ????

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joelja

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We've had several questions here recently about the order tracking 800#. To help all these new people out, I decided to record my last phone call to the 800# and transcribe it for their education on how to properly use this wonderful facility.

So, here goes:

COMPUTER(simulated female voice): Welcome to the Ford Vehicle Order Processing Center. To proceed please press "1".

ME: Dutifully presses "1"

COMPUTER: If you are checking on a Ford vehicle, please say "FORD". If you are checking on a Lincoln-Mercury vehicle, please say Lincoln-Mercury.

ME: DeSoto. Oh, just kidding ..."FORD"

COMPUTER: I'm sorry. I did not understand.
If you are checking on a Ford vehicle, please say "FORD". If you are checking on a Lincoln-Mercury vehicle, please say Lincoln-Mercury.

ME: "FORD"

COMPUTER: Please say your dealer code.

ME: 13323

COMPUTER: I understood that you are checking on a FORD and that your dealer code is 13323.
Is this correct? Please say yes or no.

ME: Yes

COMPUTER: To check the status of a vehicle using a vechicle identification number, please say "VIN". To check the status of a vehicle using an order number , please say order number.

ME: "Order number"

COMPUTER: Please say the model year of the vehicle.

ME: "2002"

COMPUTER: Please say the body style of the vehicle , digit by digit.

ME: "P-6-0"

COMPUTER: Please say the order number of the vehicle digit by digit.

ME: "014"

COMPUTER: I understood that the vehicle is a "2002". That the body style is a "T-6-0" and that the order number is "014"
Is this correct. Please say YES or NO.

ME: "NO"

COMPUTER: Is the model year "2002"?

ME: "YES"

COMPUTER: Is the body style "T-6-0"?

ME: "NO"

COMPUTER: Please say the body style digit by digit.

ME: "PEEEEEEE-6-0"

COMPUTER: I understood that the body style is "D-6-0". Is this correct ? Please say yes or no.

ME: "NO. DAMMIT"

COMPUTER: I'm sorry. I did not understand. Please say the body style digit by digit.

ME: "PEEEEEEEEEEE-6-0". You dumb bi---"

COMPUTER: I"m sorry. I did not understand.
And I am not a tomb ditch. Would you like to speak to an order processing analyst. Please say yes or no.

ME: Analyze this, you undersexed, under megahertzed, low-life geek.

COMPUTER: I'm sorry. No information found for body style "G-6-0". And you will see your long-awaited TBird when Hell freezes over. But, in the meantime, would you like to speak with an order processing analyst?

ME: (Distant sound of one gunshot. Phone goes dead.)


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blue/blue/full blue/premium on order: VIN #16050
 

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Thanks for the bood norning laugh.
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Joelga;

As we say here in the South:
You ain't right!!!

P.S. Bruiser says hey!!!

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Courage - and shuffle the cards
 
I think the man has finally lost it. Poor Poor Joel!
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And with his car just around the corner too ---
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I think that P thing might have to do with that southern accent. Us Yanks up north here have no problem with this lady.
eek.gif


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02 T-Bird 9293
69 Vette
73 MGB
97 F-150 4x4
2-Seadoo Jet Skies
a dog a cat and a couple hundred fish in my pond

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That was a good one joelga, and how true it is in this day and age. You weren't around 60 years ago, but here's how it would have went then. One full crank on the handle at the side of the phone and you would hear "operator". Then you would say "hey Myrtle, would you dial up the Ford plant in Wixom for me? She'd say o.k. Bob, and the next thing you know, you would be talking to a real live PERSON! Everyone on the line would listen in on your conversation, too. By the way our ring was two longs and one short. Times have changed!
 
Joel,

I'm still LMAO at your little scenareo. I cannot tell you how many times I went through those VERY EXACT words while calling the VOPC.

Gobird, I hate to tell you that I'm a transplanted Northerner from DC, and
the -itch that Joel speaks of didn't like my voice either on certain instances. Once I got my VIN I became a very happy camper even though I would panick once I got to the H-P-6-0-A part of the VIN. Not once did it not recognize my voice during those calls.

Joel, the wait is almost over, and you will quickly forget all those calls to the VOPC.

Good luck getting your car for the May Rally. Just keep in mind the break-in period if you do get the car in time. Remember to vary your speeds and no hard braking!

Take care,

KB
 
Joelja: I also tried the 800 number this week and the computer does not understand "Hoosier" talk any better. After numerous attempts (including "P" problems) the computer lady said that they had no data available for my vehicle. After a short wait, I finally talked to a very nice/human lady who after many questions was able to tell me basically what RTBRD had already calculated for my built date which is next week sometime. Joelja, since your blue is up before me, I can't get too excited until your's is built. Maddux healthy, Braves winning now lets get 16050 built and all will be right in your world.
 
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TO2 Bird, Well maybe it's my Pa. Dutch accent. We do say things a little different. That programmer may have been from Blue Ball in Langggg-cas-ter County.Don't know what to tell you but I never had any trouble with it.
rolleyes.gif


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02 T-Bird 9293
69 Vette
73 MGB
97 F-150 4x4
2-Seadoo Jet Skies
a dog a cat and a couple hundred fish in my pond
 
Joel, that is HYSTERICAL! I experienced the same scenario over and over again until I started dropping my female voice much lower so that it sounded like James Earl Jones. For some reason, that seemed to work better!
 
Thanks, pbocciardi,

I came is second in my Senior class in high school for the "Wittiest" to a football player who spent so many years at our high school that they gave him a pension instead of a diploma. You have to laugh....if you don't want to cry.

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blue/blue/full blue/premium on order: VIN #16050
 
Joelja,

I had to laugh (the laugh of shared experience). I hope your car comes before the men in white coats!

I think some of us emit some kind of low level electromagnetic field that has the same effect on automated systems that cold sweat has on a rabid pit bull. I had to reboot once just to check your post.
 
Joelja:
Thanks much for the education....and the laugh!

Me thinks I'll just wait till the dealer calls me! I don't have the patience that you obviously displayed during your encounter!

Captjim
 
I must have called over 100 times until I got my car a week ago...with some practice I got to 100% success...I found you do not have to wait for the question to be completed...it listens for your input as soon as the question starts.

(I always feel better when I think I am besting, even in a small way, a dumb machine.)

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Chuck
 
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